BP #41 - 10 Lies We Tell Ourselves That Keep Us Broke

Read Time: 4 min 

Welcome to The Weekend Investor, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you build a  wealthier, healthier, and happier life even if your time is limited.

Today at a glance: 

1.) A quote: Words of wisdom about lies.

2.) I have been reflecting on lies that I've been telling myself about my personal finances and ways that I can reframe them to reverse the damaging effects. 

3.) Here are the 10 personal finance lies we tell ourselves ( and reframes that will help change the dangerous internal dialog). 

I read this quote once which had a significant impact on my thinking. 

"The most common lie is that by which a man deceives himself. The deception of others is a relatively rare offense." - Friedrick Nietzche 

 Before reflecting on this I didn't realize that this kind of lie is also the most damaging because of how beliefs are formed.  

Beliefs are just thoughts we keep thinking. Now imagine if those thoughts are lies. 

Then I began a reflection on the kinds of lies I had been telling myself. 

I was and still am to a certain extent guilty of telling myself lies to avoid facing the hard truths about finances. From subtle half-truths and sleight of hand to obvious mental gymnastics, I have used it all to avoid facing reality.  

My awareness of the subject has allowed me to fight back and I hope that it will do the same for you. 

Here are the 10 most dangerous lies we tell ourselves about personal finance that keep us poor. 

Lie: "When I get [X], then I'll be happy"

It is easy to fall into the trap that once you reach some mental milestone, you will be happy. 

• I'll be happy when I make [X] dollars
• I'll be happy when I get a promotion
• I'll be happy when the kids are finally out of the house

Someone once called this the "When, Then" Trap. When [X], then happy. 

This is a hideous mental game that we are all guilty of. Most likely when you finally get what you said you wanted, you will feel unfulfilled and replace it with something else you want. 

You get a fancy car, see someone else with a better one, and then you want a new one. Out with the old and in with the new. 

Intuitively we all know that these things won't make you happy. We know that true happiness comes from within. 

Reframe: I will find joy and lightness in the process of getting [X], and I will take pride in knowing that my consistency in doing [X] brought me [X]. 

Lie: "This is just who I am." 

Identification with yourself, your competencies, and your personality as being responsible for where you are financially  is a limited view. It's a cop-out. 

The world is constantly changing around you and you are constantly changing too. 

You are never stuck and there is no one and nothing to blame. 

Don't sell yourself short. 

Reframe: This is who I am today, and I am capable of fantastic change. 10 years from now I will hardly recognize myself. 

Lie: "I don't have time for [X]."

Stop blaming time for lack of attention and focus. 

You make time for things you really care about. You make time for distraction. The average human being will spend 15 years of their life watching TV. 

Stop putting off getting your financial situation in order. 

Most issues of time are not. They are issues of prioritization. 

Reframe: I don't have time for [X] right now, if [X] is important to me how can I make time for it?

Lie: "Someone will be there to save me." 

Mel Robbins is pretty famous for a quote from her book The Five Second Rule. - "You need to hear this loud and clear: No one is coming, it's up to you." 

If you haven't felt this yet in life you will. There will be times in life when no one is there for you. It is just you and you. 

The friends and family that you expected to show up don't. 

When you find yourself in over your head financially, stop digging and pull yourself out. 

Reframe: I hope that someone will be there for me when I need it, but I also know that I am fully capable of handling this on my own. 

Lie: "I am not capable of [X]. 

This is the worst kind of self-defeating language. I have been guilty of this one. I have a friend who calls this the "I can't because engine". 

I can't because engine, because engine, because engine. Ever notice that your because engine never runs out of fuel unless you stop feeding it? 

The trouble with this one is that this kind of negative self-talk also becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Here's a trick I learned from my mom. 

Reframe: When my 10-year-old comes to me with a problem. He often will say things like. "Dad, I can't because [X]."  Instead of saying I can't, say "How can I?". 

Lie: "I know exactly what I am doing"

You don't know exactly what you are doing but here's a cool part, no one else does either. 

Ever hear the phrase, "fake it till you make it"? Well some of us are just better at it than others. 

You should learn the skill of adaptation and learning things on the fly. It will make you better at your job and managing your investments or finances. 

 Reframe: I don't know what I am doing and that's ok, I will figure it out. If someone else can do it so can I. 

Lie: "They just got lucky"

This is an attempt to downplay someone else's success in comparison to your own. 

Consider the possibility that someone spent hours beating on their craft to put themselves in a position to get lucky. 

Are you doing the same or just waiting for something to happen by accident? 

Reframe: That person achieved something that I would also like to achieve, this proves that If I keep working at it that I can achieve it too. 

Lie: "I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to do [X]. 

None of us have control over time. We can't stop it. There goes a minute. There goes an hour. There goes a year. 

If you're waiting for the perfect moment to do something (like learning how to invest), it may never come. 

If you ask someone in their 80s what they regret most it is not what they didn't achieve, it's never trying in the first place. 

Reframe: It will never be the perfect moment. Perfection doesn't exist. But if I am prepared, now is the right moment. 

Lie: "I'm too late to do [X]."

Some things indeed take time but it is never too late to start on a journey. 

Just think if Ray Kroc (founder of McDonald's) never opened his first restaurant at 53 years old. 

Reframe: If I move now, then today's "too late", can be tomorrow's "early". 

Lie: "I'll do [X] later"

No, you won't and you're not doing yourself any favors by continuing to procrastinate.

If the death of compounding is an interruption, then the death of progress is prostration.  

You have four options when it comes to getting things done based on the Eisenhower Matric.

• Do it now
• Schedule a time to do it
• Delegate it 
• Delete it from your list together 

Reframe: Ask yourself if I was [X] (you can replace x with something like a millionaire) what would I do? 

Action Steps: This week try to be conscious of your inner dialog and when you hear yourself telling lies, replace them with a reframe. 

What happened this week?

This week I sent out an announcement about my upcoming course and a request. If you missed it grab it here. 

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